I had an interesting conversation last night, a friend of mine was having their grown child over (grown as in , closing in on 30,) to discuss his “future and what we can do to arrange it.”
I mentioned this to Sean and he looked at me and said “discuss his future? He’s in his future.”
I have to admit I felt the same way, by the time Sean and I were 24 we had a mortgage, 2 kids, and we were well on our way to where we are now.
I didn’t say anything, but in my head I’m thinking, “at what point do you stop protecting your kids, making things easier for them, and just let them deal with the hard things and tough decisions on their own?”
Personally, the hardest times for us have been the ones we’ve grown from, if we hadn’t of gone through them (and yes I say we because Sean and I have been together since we were teenagers,) I know we wouldn’t of become the hardworking, figure it out people we are today. I want my kids to know I love and support them, but the end goal for me is to raise fully functional adults, not to support a delayed adolescence.
It got me thinking of the “when” though. When is it time to say “your turn, figure it out?” High school? College? After they’re married with their own kids?
Personally I want to start now, let my little kids try and work things out on their own, send my older kids away to handle life for the summer without me, teach them to manage money and show up at Sean’s office to help out and learn some business sense.
I’ve been known in the past to be a “lawnmower” parent, but have realized what a disservice that it to my kids. Life is hard, it has times that can suck, but those are important.
Having kids is a gift, but at some point we all have to let go and let them find their own way, might as well start preparing them now !