One of the perks of this job is that I get to connect with people from all over, every night I sit down and go through the DMs on my Instagram, making sure I read them all and answer as many as possible. Many are “I love the show,” or “where’d you get that sweater?” The ones that touch me the most are the ones that deal with issues my own family has faced, updates on kids with OCD whose parents asked for help, or LGBTQ+ teens who realize they aren’t alone. Yesterday I had a women reach out, she was wondering how I got through the tough times, she was feeling depressed and wasn’t sure anyone could relate and asked me how I stayed so strong.

I told her the truth, that I’m going through one of the hardest times in my life right now, that everyone goes through things, and to remember that when you ask someone “how are you doing?” And they say “fine,” there’s a pretty good chance they aren’t.

We’re conditioned to keep the hard parts to ourselves, to not complain or ask for help, women especially are brought up to “not be a bother,” and to smile even when we don’t want to. I’m guilty of this, my Instagram is filled with perfect pictures of a near perfect life, when the reality is I feel like everything is crashing down around me.

I’m lucky to have amazing friends, women that when I say “I can’t make it today, I’m isolating,” understand and don’t take it personally, friends that show up on the hard days, listen to the ugly and never judge. I also have the most supportive family, Sean and the older kids let me talk honestly about what’s going on, we share things as a family, and help each other though everything.

My life is weird, I have a job that supports lying, fighting and backstabbing, I’m surrounded by people that want to see you fail and will tear you down to stay relevant, it’s a 180 from my regular life and can still knock me off my feet, as much as I try and separate the two, work and my life, I have a hard time, and it can still send me spiraling down at times.

I’m working on myself a lot these days, tackling some big issues, owning up to my mistakes and admitting when I’m wrong. I still fail, every day I mess up and think “maybe tomorrow I’ll be able to do this better.” I’m a work in progress, we all are, and none of us are alone in that.

If you’re reading this and going through something, know you’re not the only one, reach out, connect, talk openly with a friend or family member, and if that’s not an option, message me. We’re all in this “life” thing together.

Xoxo