The rain is slowly falling from the sky, one of those quick moving clouds that last just long enough to cool you off from the heat of the day, I’m laying in my best friends backyard, reading, relaxing, enjoying what it really means to be alive.

I came here for the first time a few months ago, tagged along as Noella and her husband decided to throw caution to the wind and live half their lives here, I came for a vacation, but have fallen in love with the life here. This is my fourth trip here in the past couple of months, I have a room and a routine, a quiet respite from all the outside noise, a place I feel … peace, but could it be more?

I feel like places call to us, Kauai, Miami, New York, they’ve always felt like home, places I know I belong, and now, Puerto Rico. It’s amazing here. This tiny enclave called Dorado is a little utopian world, the people are pirates of sorts, the kind that can take off, leaving everything behind to start a new life. The women are all beautiful, they come from all over the country, with successful careers and well rounded children, they all live in this 3 square mile bubble, with not much in common yet it all works. They don’t judge, they listen and support, they welcome you with open arms and phone numbers from the best schools, to the best places for fresh produce. I’m 43 and I’ve never seen anything like it, it’s like an anthropological study how the world could and should be.

I like it here. A lot. Could we do it? Spend 183 days existing on sunshine and golf carts? I’m trying. There’s a lot of uncertainty in my life right now, not in a bad way, more of a “wonder what’s going to happen next,” kinda way. My marriage, my job, living sober and finally being able to say “I’m gay,” it’s a lot and I don’t have the answers, but I’ve learned to live one day at a time and just take the journey for what it is. Sean and I are coming back in a few weeks to look at homes, it feels exciting to think “we can actually to this.”

I don’t know about you, but 2020 made me realize how short life is, made me wake up and think to myself “we only get one life….are we living the one we want?” Are you living the one you want? My dreams are simple, kids running barefoot, watching the sunset, laying in the sand surrounded by friends and family. What are yours??