It comes out of nowhere, a quick moment of “that would be nice,” a warm day out on the Duffy, cruising around the harbor, I remember this, I remember drinking and laughing…that was fun. Now I’m in it, I’m in my brain, I’m remembering the fun times, the quick drinks at the bar, the easy comradere that comes from sharing a drink with a stranger.

I’m sad. I feel like I’ll never have fun again, that the color has been drained out. Why can’t I drink like other people?

I’m headed home, I’ll feel it, I’ll go to a meeting, I won’t drink today, but it’s hard. Today is hard.