I’m sitting in my bed, drinking coffee and scrolling through Instagram, I woke up after the sun came up and decided to roll back over not once, but twice. My house is clean, really clean, like every room is exactly how I left it, and I spent yesterday binge watching Netflix.
Yep, for the first time in my entire adult life I have the house to myself.
I started a new job recently, but before I got it we had already booked our yearly family ski trip to Beaver Creek, we decided that instead of canceling it, that Sean (G-d bless him) would take the kids (all 7) to Colorado without me.
I’ve been by myself for a week, at first it was tough, I felt like something was missing and my entire heart ached, a trip with my new friends to L.A., turned into a nightmare and had me questioning all my recent life choices (and ended with me having a breakdown in a Hawaiian shirt and neon visor,) but I got through it with the help of my mom and my bed.
This weekend on the other hand was great, the loneliness was replaced by peacefulness, I was able to go out with my friends, work out when I wanted and ended up having the best Sunday Funday I’ve had in awhile, all without the feeling of “I need to get home.”
I’ve been with someone my whole life, so it’s easy to focus on others instead of myself, and I have to say, an amazing self awareness comes in the quiet.
I wish I had known how special this was when I was younger, that I appreciated the quiet, the feeling of only answering to yourself, I was always in a rush to get to the next “step” of life that I didn’t stop and appreciate the one I was in.
They get back in a few hours and as excited as I am, I kinda hope I get to do this again (although 1 night would be the best,) turns out I like being alone, and I think it’s been a healthy break for me.
I’d love for everyone to take some time for themselves this week, to breathe and be with themselves, then let me know how it felt.
I’ve been facing some uncomfortable truths lately, and this was just what I needed.