My Favorite Things

Struck by lightning!

First of all let me start off by saying I loved Lightning Fit, and despite what you might think as you read this, I can’t wait to go back!

I’m not sure what’s happened but I’ve become a person that works out, I sneak out of the house before the kids wake up, walking through the Orangetheory doors at the crack of dawn, so when my friend told me about this place I thought “sure, why not.”

I get there after a crazy day running errands, asking if there’s a place to change into my workout clothes, “of course,” the lady at the front tells me, “we actually have clothes for you to wear, just remove all your underwear and jewelry.” Um,ok.

As I change into something resembling long underwear I’m feeling ok, but the follow up questions “do you have implants, pace maker, or metal rods in your body?” leave me a bit unsettled.

As I walk out of the office, waivers signed I notice my trainer, she’s so nice and helpful it almost distracts me from the soaking wet outfit she helping me into, that’s best described as a combination of a bullet proof vest and a straight jacket.

“Should I be able to breathe?” I ask as she tightens the straps.

“It needs to be tight,” she replies.

Got it. No breathing.

As I step into the room, I’m a bit confused, but she quickly explains how we’ll do different exercises, and how the electricity will (okay, I can’t remember, I was too concerned about the electricity and the lack of oxygen I was trying not to panic.)

Zap.

“Aaaaah.”

What the fuck just happened.

Zap. Zap. Zap.

I scream again.

“Too much?” She ask.

“I don’t know,” I answer “how much is one supposed to be electrocuted.

As flashbacks of my childhood come back to me, my older cousin telling me to touch an old light socket, I go through a series of all body movements, by this point I’m used to the “zaps” and laughing instead of screaming. Despite the easy movements and low weights I’m sweating and out of breath. “Is it normal to be out of breath,” I ask “or am I having a heart attack.”

“Totally normal, that’s the whole point of this, a quick, intense workout.”

“Ok, cool,” I think, I’m not dying.

At the end of the workout, I lay down as they release lactic acid, tiny full body zaps that sorta resemble a seizure.

“So this was cool,” I say.

“So glad you liked it! You’ll be sore later so drink a ton of water.”

“How sore? I still have to go home and parent 7 kids, many of whom require lifting and carrying.”

She laughs. Crap.

Currently I’m in bed, I’ve been here since 6 last night, I couldn’t move, everything hurt, but in that oh so good way, I told Sean he has to try it, it’s only twice a week for 25 minutes.

I already booked my next session.

How many people does it take to keep me happy?

The answer is 3.

When it comes to travel I’m hard to please, my kids know not to unpack, and that the chance of switching rooms (or even resorts,) is pretty high, I always request the top floor at the end of the hall, and make sure I get a a suite with at least 2 rooms so I don’t have to hear noise in the hallway.

I can’t help it, I know what I like (quiet) and what I don’t (drunk people and those obnoxious instagram pool floaties.)

We just got back from Grand Vela, and I have to say, they’ve exceeded my expectations once again. After inquiring about 1) occupancy, 2) weddings and 3) conventions (all of which fall into the things that annoy me category,) we booked our first “almost” kid free trip in years!

From the moment we stepped out of the airport, everything was taken care of, our amazing butler Caesar made sure everything was perfect, when Aspen couldn’t sleep, he found someone to go get us a baby bed, when the weather was too rough to take the baby on a boat, he found someone who would, our coffee was just the way we liked it, and when we couldn’t eat at the adults only restaurants, he had it delivered to the balcony of our room, he even held Aspen when she cried.

We very rarely “Vacation,” most of our travels involve VRBO, whining kids and random mattresses thrown on the floor, but this time, the stars collided, my mom could babysit, and we decided to treat ourselves.

This is our third trip to Grand Vela, first one in Baja, the ratio of 3 staff to every guest and the fact that they never say no and just figure out how to make things happen is not lost on me.

Hopefully we can make this a yearly thing (hint hint, mom,) because I can’t wait to go back!!

Mom friends…it’s a lot like dating….

At least I imagine it is, I’ve been with Sean since I was 18 so I never really got to excel at the whole “dating game.” I do however, find making friends, in my 40’s with 7 kids to be a bit harder then when I was younger and just drank too much and ended up hugging strangers in the bathroom at clubs….(ok, not really , now I just hug strangers at Whole Foods.)

Many of my friends have been love at first sight, a group of girls out to brunch in Miami, who I couldn’t help but overhear and brazenly went up to asking “I’m new here and have no friends, will you guys be my friends?” Low and behold, 10 years later and my kids call These women “Aunties.” My other newfound BFF came at the most unexpected of places, a school fundraiser, we were seated next to each other and she causally mentioned “my husband hates taking me to these things because I get drunk and say inappropriate things.” I moved my seat closer and quietly whispered “you’re my people.”

My most recent experience involved an adorable mom to 3 who burst out into a little musical theatre number on deck at another school function….jazz hands ??? Oh ya.

On the flip side, there’s moms who I can’t “swipe right” fast enough (or is it left??) The ones who show dog their kids (competitive parenting is so not my thing,) or don’t even crack a smile at my inappropriate jokes (no matter how much Botox you’ve had, I’m pretty damn funny.)

I’m a girls girl, I adore my friends with my whole heart, they are the ones that make me laugh and keep the funny in my life, collectively it’s an odd assortment for sure, Rap stars, Chemist, vegans, moms and Influencers, some of us are in our 20s, some of us can barely remember our 20s (present company included,) but the one thing we have in common is we’re all awesome in our own way and totally support each other (okay, That’s 2 things.)

Making friends is hard, but when you get it right, and the “date” goes well, it’s so, so worth it!!